When I first started this blog I was very careful never to talk about my age. Let’s face it, this blogging/influencer world is filled with 20-somethings who look so carefree and have such a broad appeal. I never wanted anyone to not follow me because I was “too old” and, perhaps, unrelatable.
I now know that’s bullshit. I’m proud of where I’ve come in my life and all of the things I have experienced. And if I hadn’t had this much time on the planet I wouldn’t have gotten it all in yet. Plus, I still feel 28, so that has to count for something!
In reality I’m 38. And a half. In less than 18 months I will be 40 and I don’t yet know how that makes me feel. I know I’d like some of the wrinkles on my forehead to go away, but I also know I have no desire to be 25 again.
If you’ve done the math then you’ve already figured out that I met Marc when I was 35 (and a half), got married at 38, and if we’re fortunate enough to have a baby I will likely do that at 40. No, this is definitely not how I drew up my life when I was 20, but right now I have never been happier.
Not only did I not meet Marc until I was 35 (and a half) but up until that point I had never had a boyfriend. That’s right, over 35 years and zero serious relationships. At some point you are just too exhausted to keep asking, “what’s wrong with me?”.
What I know now is that no man, no matter how amazing, can make you stop asking that question. You have to do it yourself.
When I turned 35 I struggled big time. It wasn’t a fun period. I suddenly realized just how far off course my life had gone from what I had always envisioned. I also believed I was no closer to finding Mr. Right than I had been 10 years prior and thought that somehow my singleness made me a lesser person. Mentally it was hell.
Then, after a few months, for some reason I started to dig out of that hole and put myself back together again. I can’t tell you why. I truly have no explanation for this change in perspective. But for some reason I finally begin to think of my life in 20, 30, or 50 years, with the realization that if I were still single it could still be amazing.
I finally decided not to settle for anything less than amazing. Six weeks later I met Marc.
My intention with this series isn’t to attempt to tell you single ladies what to do to find Mr. Right. Let’s be honest, one successful relationship in nearly 40 years does not an expert make! Instead, maybe my experiences can help you find happiness in your present and give you hope for your future.
Wherever you are in your life know this: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or that life if it isn’t what you had planned or expected. Being single isn’t an indictment on your character. And living a happy and healthy life can be done alone.
I’m not really sure what different directions this series will take, but let’s all find out together. And if you have any questions or suggestions along the way, or even your own stories to share, please drop them in the comments below or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Cheers to refusing to settle! We’re too damn good for that.